Fail to Succeed
by daybreaksage
Summary: How far is Joey willing to hear Kaiba's past from his own lips? [SJ yaoi]...completed


Disclaimer: don't own yugioh

Warning: **read the A/N at the bottom.** _And please…if you don't like yaoi, don't read._

Written by: daybreaksage

When? I have no idea.  
Revised? Today….  
Updated….When I felt like it.

**Fail to Succeed**

How could I have been so stupid?

Not matter what I do . . . I can't take it back . . .

I leaned against the door frame of the front door of my Victorian home.

Not once did I listen to the little voice inside my head . . .

"That's because you don't have one."

I jumped. I spun around just in time to see Mokuba walk out of the living room and start heading towards me. "You have to go get him . . . ."

I clenched my teeth to keep from responding with an absolute no. Not to mention from yelling at the little twerp for what he had done.

"Just go," Mokuba had paused for a second. He appeared as if he was battling himself whether or not to additionally add another comment. He quickly made up his mind and spoke firmly, "Remember Seto, out of all the times you have told me you have to fail to succeed, you should take your own advice."

Mokuba's stern face made me feel uncomfortable. It felt like he was actually older than me at eighteen. It nearly made me squirm underneath his thirteen year old glare.

I sighed in defeat.

"He'll be gone forever. . ."

I nodded slightly, "I know."

"Then what are you-"

I was already out the door to find _him_. Not once had I registered how much _he_ really meant to me. After all we had gone through, he always came back. he was always the one to apologize. But not this time.

I passed the bushes of my property as I quickly dashed across the yard and surpassed the gate to the sidewalk outside.

I was going to be the first out of all the faults. I knew Mokuba was right. You have to fail to succeed. I have failed too many times in apologizing to the one I care about. So indeed, it was my turn to succeed.

A drop landed on my cheek. I quickly swiped it away thinking nothing of it. I was hoping nothing would happen before I got to the dilapidated apartment, but I was _terribly_ wrong.

Thundered clashed above my head before I could think anything of it. I just wanted to get to the scrawny mongrel – is what I sometimes called him – before it rained heavily on me. For the first time, nothing mattered to me. Not even where I was going or how I was getting there. Maybe that's why "limo" hadn't occurred to me until after the downpour.

I guess this will be the first time my Puppy will get to see me drenched. Heh – My Puppy. Why hadn't that ever occurred to me before?

Another step sounded off the cement as I sprinted down the street in the pouring rain. The rain droplets made my own breathing barely audible to my own ears. I couldn't even tell if any cars were present because of the thunderous blasts overhead. They weren't apparent until their metal containers passed me.

Let's just hope I didn't have to sidestep a car to get to his house in time. Or appear on his doorstep in pieces.

I could feel the pounding in my chest from all the blood. It was then I realized, and coudln't believe that I hadn't even tried to stop him before he left my property. It was selfish if you ask me. I nearly came to a halt. Had it really taken me this long to realize this?

The memories inside my head nearly thrashed inside my head as they replayed like a broken record. Why didn't I do anything at the time?

* * *

"Seto." 

I looked up from my laptop.

Joey was standing in the doorway of my study. Books and shelves formed and swirled about his small frame against the entryway of the room.

"You keep this up . . . . And I'll be forced to leave."

He looked flushed from running. But, from where?

"What are you talking about Mutt?" His sudden appearance took me by surprise. He wasn't here an hour ago from what I kenw.

"Don't lie to me anymore. I can't believe your own_ brother_ had to tell me."

It suddenly dawned on me. Anger boiled in my veins. I resisted the urge to jump out of my chair and let my hand swallow his throat.

How could he? I strictly told him the rules of my house. I trusted him.

"What were you doing roaming the west wing?" I didn't even try to hid the anger within my voice.

"I got lost; and you're avoiding the subject." He had been standing for sometime now. That's what it looked like when he finally leaned against the door frame in a cocky manner.

I took it as a mocking characteristic.

"How can I when _you_ wandered into what was not yours!" I stood up from the desk and glared straight at the blond. I noticed I had my fists clenched and were burning a bright white from the anger building inside of me. I glanced down and noticed the imprints of fingernails in my skin. Before getting the courage to glare back at the blond, I unclenched my hands in order to calm myself.

Joey still wore his shaggy clothes from his apartment. I don't know why I didn't bother to notice he needed better clothes until now.

"I got lost and before I knew it, I was in the west wing." He seemed smug, but I noticed the fear slowly flickering in his eyes.

I gritted my teeth. "Why didn't you turn back?" my voice was rougher than I intended. But maybe it was the right thing to do. An idea suddenly filled my head . . . The idea of it turning final sounded perfect.

"Curiosity took over." Joey no longer looked smug. He appeared as if he would sink back into the hallway at any moment in time.

I sneered, "Curiosity must have killed the cat. Because that's exactly what I am going to do to you." I had to pause for a moment. "Leave." Maybe that was _too_ harsh . . . No. No it wasn't. He ignored my rules. It felt like the definition of betrayal. I've felt lit before with my stepfather. This was nearly the same as the way he broke his promise to loose my trust.

"Get out Mutt," I narrowed my eyes at the Joey, half in the room and half out.

Maybe this was too harsh.

"Just..." Joey paused. I knew what he was going to say, I didn't have to think twice when he spoke, "tell me why you never told me."

"**No.** Obviously you were too preoccupied to snoop to ask! You don't deserve an answer after what you have done."

"Because I deserve to know the truth from _you_, and you _alone_!" I noticed the emphasis on the last word. So Mokuba had told him everything. But everything can sometimes lead to only small details.

I stepped forward and advanced towards Joey pretty quickly. I gruffly grasped his wrist and dragged him fully out the door and down the hall to the top of the stairs without him squirming. I felt like he had given up the moment I felt his wrist sag within my hand.

As we reached the first step he pulled back. I turned around and glared at him, "Get out before I call security."

"Just tell me_ he_ did it." The blond stared into my eyes. But I wasn't going to give up a without a fight if even if he was willing to.

"You want to know? You want to know what happened?" It was rhetorical, but I still expected an answer coming form his lips.

"I want to know what happened from _you_." It almost came out in a whisper, but it was eager enough to make me continue.

I still had the fury boiling. I was taught to keep a grudge by Gozaburo and right now it seemed to stick without any duck tape at the moment. (1)

"You already know the truth! Why do you need to know it from me! Please **get out!**" I pointed down the steps which expanded to the front door.

"No." The blonde's voice was just as firm and stubborn as his feet.

I growled.

"Mutt, get out before I get _really_ irritated."

"Clearly _you_ already are."

_Smart mouth. _

I narrowed my eyes. He looked at me with definite smugness as if he was seemingly wining at the moment.

He was pushing it.

I narrowed my eyes. Before I even knew it, I grabbed his arm and began pushing him down the stairs in the middle of his back by my hand. I thrust him down the stairs by force to the door and yanked it open with the evening cold streaming in. But the frost in the air was crisp as the cloudy sky seemed it was going to let Mother Nature have her way any second.

"Out." My voice was already staggering from the anger building.

"Tell me . . ." his voice was pleading, but his eyes were penetrating mine. That was a bit surprising. He stood beside the door as if going to walk out any moment if he wanted to. I watched Joey for a second as he crossed his arms over his chest in bravery to keep his ground.

"Mutt! Get out!" I had had it.

"I just want to –"

"I was tormented when I was twelve with no sleep, endless studying, and a vortex of beatings!" I snapped! I had to resist the urge to bang my head against the nearest wall for blurting out everything.

Right now…I curse you brain! I curse your stupid mind for being so eager to tell someone!

_Curse you…..CURSE YOU!_

Heh….I cleared my throat out loud…Right now wasn't the time to be arguing with myself.

I guess after all these years, it was ready to burst. And it exploded without me even knowing until it was already too late.

"Kaiba I . . ." Joey looked scared from my partial yelling, but no less had dropped his arms to the sides of his body.

I realized he used my last name. It almost …. No….no it didn't hurt at all.

"Don't." I tried to count to ten, but my voice was raspy from yelling and distracted my train of thought with memories I tried to discontinue. I had to clench my eyes closed for a second, but snapped them back open when Wheeler began speaking.

"Mokuba told me about the endless studying and nights . . .But not the . . ."

"Did he tell you it was nearly every night? He only reason he knows because I came across him in the hall crying. **Crying** for god's sake! He had seen the whole thing!" I had to take a deep breath before the next sentence came out in a whisper, "What he doesn't know is that most of them were his… He was threatening me with Mokuba…So I took them. All." I paused for a second; my anger was resurfacing very clearly, "While I'm at it, did he tell you I was _almost_ stolen of my innocence!"

I was raged. I had told Mokuba to tell **no one**. But Wheeler still disobeyed entering the west wing of my stupid memories. I should have destroyed the evidence that was lying around in my own home. I'd have to deal with Mokuba later. But what I couldn't believe was Mokuba's sudden urge to tell Joey nearly everything without my consent.

"Kaiba, I had no idea –"

"You have everything you wanted, so get out," I was calmed partially. I turned my head to the side and looked at the staircase while Joey still held his gaze upon my face.

"Kaiba, I'm sorry." It was sincere, but I wasn't willing to take it, _yet_.

"No . . . Mutt . . . If you were, you would have never disobeyed me. I would have told you in time, but now that you know the truth . . . I no longer have any business with you." I took another breath. "Get. Out." My heart was racing. He knew…_He knew_...It scared me too. And I don't know why.

And at the same time it was like I couldn't control my feelings. Along with my speeding heart. My breath seemed to shorten to small gasps.

"I never want to see you again. And if you tell anyone what happened here today, I will personally hunt you down." I glared; I felt so enraged at what Wheeler had done, I hadn't taken the time to notice his face.

It was heartbroken. His eyes had turned from affection to complete terror and utter despair.

I failed to notice the tear that escaped his left eye before he turned towards the door and whispered with his back towards me, "Goodbye Seto." He took a step and left the front porch with a sprint before I closed the door and leaned against the doorframe to contemplate what I had done.

I had taken me a couple of minutes for it to register that I had really hurt him. All he wanted was the truth that I held so deep within my vault. I just wasn't ready. But _he_ pushed me to my limits.

* * *

The arguments inside my head still raged.

_Because you are one stupid and idiotic cold-hearted bas-_

I get the point already. I _still_ curse you….

The thunder ended my thoughts as I passed the park. The apartment was only a few blocks away. I sped up before I came face to face with the door of his little wooden door in seconds.

I pounded on it as if there was no tomorrow. Which of course…there wouldn't be if I didn't have the Mutt by my side.

Joey's father opened the door. Confusion was written all over his face.

"John! Where's," something wasn't right. "Joey?"

He's not here . . . he would have answered the door. I was _only_ behind him only a minute or two from running .

I turned immediately around, but I could hear Mr. Wheeler's voice ringing in my ears, "Kaiba?"

I searched the streets with my eyes. No gold, yellow or blond was in sight. He can't be hard to miss. After all, he couldn't have run _that_ far.

"Joey . . ." I breathed.

In this horrible weather? Where are you?

"It's raining! What are you doing here . . . ? Is there something wrong?"

"I," I twisted around to face Joey's father, "No, not at all." I quickly whirled back around and sprinted down the street. _Where are you?_ kept running though my head over and over again. I left John at the door to bolt down the street. I silently prayed in my mind that he would be at his favorite spot.

I came back to the park that I passed moments before and stopped. No on was here.

_But it was his favorite spot!_

I gazed over the swings, benches, field, and monkey bars. Not one person was in sight.

I trudged towards the small bench closest to me on my right. But I never made it.

I slipped on the slimy dirt and landed on my knees. The mud stuck to my black pants. Thank goodness the necklace of Mokuba was on the counter at home.

I glanced down to notice my coat was nowhere in sight. I cursed myself.

I shook my head trying to stand when I slipped again and landed in the mud_ and_ part of the grass. It oozed against my back as I laid there for a second. A minute or two passed before I registered the sky had turned to a shiny yellow.

Yellow?

"Mutt!" I tried to sit up, but hit a golden umbrella instead. That hurt . . .

_HaHa!_

CURSE YOU AGAIN!

A chuckle was heard to my left. I attempted to look but my lips came in contact with a memorable velvet and cinnamon taste. Gosh…he really knew how to forgive…

He had always done that. In fact, he _stole _my first kiss . . .

Joey pulled back before I could say anything; he placed a finger on my lips, "I'm Sorry," He murmured, "I shouldn't have intruded." It was as if he knew that this whole night . . .er. . .evening would be played out like this. It was as if he _knew_ that I would never leave him. Ha! But here I was…left in the dirt… Somehow, I think he asked Yugi for a glance of the future with that stupid necklace of his.

I quickly brushed everything from my mind and focused on the finger being held against my lips.

I snapped at his finger with my teeth. "Do that again, I'll bite them off." Joey chuckled. I was being serious. Next time he does that, then he'll know I wasn't kidding.

"I guess a pig like you could do that, thanks for reminding me." He smirked and stood up with the umbrella over his head. It shielded me from the pelting (and might I say) freezing rain.

I glared, but he was right. I was covered in mud from the hair down. I was a pig and looked like one two. If the tabloids ever got a hold of this, there will be hell to pay. My reputation would be in the gutter and everything I had worked for would be in the dirt next to me. But that place was held for a certain dog.

He stuck out his hand. I took it without hesitation.

"I'm sorry Joey." I mumbled before he stopped me. This time he held his hand up. Maybe he did take the hint of me biting his fingers off…

"For what? I have no idea what you are talking about." He paused for a second, "But all I have to say is don't worry about _the _past_. In time _you'll_ be mine._"

I slightly squinted my eyes in confusion and furrowed my eyebrows.

Surely he didn't mean something to do with a bedroom…Did he?

"We should get you cleaned up." He poked me in the chest before taking off in a direction towards my mansion. My eyes widened. Oh my Go-

_Language Kaiba. Wouldn't want your children to learn such language. _

What the heck are you – Oh..._oh…_**OH**

I still curse you…

_You know. If you don't catch up to him…You won't get what he's offering, because you'll be too sick with a cold. _

Dang-it, your right. (I still curse you.)

Plus _Joey_ held the _only_ umbrella.

And I? Was stuck in the rain. _Stupid Mutt._

I stood there stunned and cold….and shivering.

Mokuba _was_ right.

You have to fail to succeed.  
To get what you want of course.

…..

I just realized. Mokuba lied!

That little runt – I do to have that little voice…

_Shut up and go find Joey….We all know he's waiting in a place called a Bed-_

I get the point.

But in the end, I was right all along, _I_ was the one who told him that phrase.

* * *

duck tape can fix anything. That's all I have to say. 

A/N #1: I think I made Kaiba a little too OOC…. Although I did enjoy making him squirm underneath the fact that Joey was superior in his story.

**A/N #2**: Now… Those of you might recognize this story. And for it, I might get flamed. But my mind changed. It came to me, that the other story didn't fit my needs. I grew over the couple that I originally used it for. Writer's constantly **edit and change** their story to fit their needs. And that's what I did. Sorry for those of you that liked the other…but to make the story a little different, I indeed changed the title. That way, I am not even stealing my own work, well…completely.

Thank you and I apologize too.

**Please review.**


End file.
